Sexuality and Autism (Part 1)

Sexuality and Autism (Part 1)

Many parents have great concerns when their autistic child reaches the age of sexual maturity. Ah, what to do? Should we put our daughter on birth control? Should we try to explain sexuality to our son who can't sit still or pay attention for more than a minute? It's a dilemma and every child faces this time in their life.

The first question many people ask is, “Do autistic people have sex?” That's like asking if it will be dark outside tonight. The answer is of course “yes”. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it is the truthful answer you need to give your child.

Another question you may have is, “Should I talk to my child about sex?” This answer has a lot to do with your child's skill level. If your son/daughter suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, the answer is clearly “yes”. If your child is unable to tie their shoes or feed themselves, you need to determine whether your child will gain anything from this conversation.

Other parents ask whether their young adult is becoming sexually active. This, like so many things regarding autism, is an interesting and difficult question. First, it is not at all uncommon for boys and girls to masturbate. Depending on where the person falls on the spectrum, masturbation can sometimes occur in places that are potentially embarrassing. During my years teaching the autistic population, we occasionally had this in the classroom. We discussed the situation with the school psychologist and she recommended removing the child from the classroom and putting him in the bathroom for privacy. I know this is not the solution that everyone would agree with. For this reason, in my opinion, every teacher and every parent must find their own satisfactory solution. Aside from masturbation, sexual relations with another person are entirely possible. Again, this depends on your child's ability level.

It is interesting to note that many more autistic adults are asexual compared to the rest of the population. It is also believed that there are a higher percentage of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender autistic people compared to the general population. One reason for this is that there is not as strong a need for conformity. Another interesting fact is that many more gay autistic people are celibate. This is by choice.

Some parents wonder whether their child will ever date, find a partner and possibly get married. Of course, this scenario is much lower than in the rest of the population. There are couples who get married. However, these are generally higher functioning autistic people. Some reasons why an autistic person may not be involved in a relationship is a simple fact that it can be very difficult for a socially challenged person to find a partner. Aside from the norm, it is often not uncommon for the female to place the mark on the male. However, due to his inexperience, the man may not respond appropriately just because he doesn't know how.

Part 2 will delve a little deeper into sexuality and the autistic young adult.

Until next time, I hope you have a great day and remember to take good care of yourself!

Inspired by Jack E George