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How to Cope with Depression When Grieving the Death of a Loved One
Are you full of despair and emptiness? Has life lost its meaning for you and no one could understand your feelings? Do you think there is no future without your loved one? If you feel this way, you are probably suffering from what is called normal reactive depression. You are depressed and reacting because something or someone you value is gone. We are not talking about clinical or biochemical depression here, although reactive depression can develop into the clinical type. Depression due to the loss of a loved one does not usually require medication, although in some cases it is prescribed and is temporarily useful. The following…
How to Cope with Depression When Grieving the Death of a Loved One
Are you full of despair and emptiness? Has life lost its meaning for you and no one could understand your feelings? Do you think there is no future without your loved one? If you feel this way, you are probably suffering from what is called normal reactive depression. You are depressed and reacting because something or someone you value is gone.
We are not talking about clinical or biochemical depression here, although reactive depression can develop into the clinical type. Depression due to the loss of a loved one does not usually require medication, although in some cases it is prescribed and is temporarily useful. Here's what you need to know.
1. Not everyone becomes depressed after the death of a loved one. It is completely normal not to experience depression as it is something you have to deal with. However, after the death of a loved one, thoughts and attitudes often trigger loneliness and resulting depression, which occurs early in the grief process. It is characterized by confusion, low motivation, altered self-esteem, insignificance, reduced functioning in social settings, insomnia and low energy.
2. If you are depressed, acknowledge it. Describe it in detail, where it hurts and how it feels. “What is the message or messages that this emotion conveys to me?” is an important question to answer. What do I have to accept? Release? Refusal to accept loss is often a root cause of depression. Depending on what you believe about your depression, you will make decisions that will either help treat it or prolong it.
3. Talk to your best friend. Remember, the more you isolate yourself - which is exactly what depression does - the more you increase emotional and physical stress. Expressing how you really feel (especially what you fear and how angry you may be) to someone you are sure you are with is an excellent antidote to your grief and dealing with depression. And forgiving yourself and others will also trigger feelings of depression.
4. Use a universal treatment for depression: exercise. Physical activity affects brain chemistry and helps treat depression. Take 10-15 minute walks, preferably with someone. This activates your endorphins and affects mood.
5. Find a symbol of comfort and guidance. Create a symbol that brings back loving memories of the person who died and/or your Higher Power who is with you at all times, helping you through your great loss. Keep the symbol in a place where you will see it often, and use it as a reminder to remember fond memories - and to accept the new conditions of life.
6. Are deep-seated negative beliefs (I can't go on alone, I'll be punished, I'll never feel better, I'm worthless, etc.) contributing to your depression? Regain your strength. Take it back from those beliefs that say you are less and not more. Believe you can get well. Create opposing affirmations and repeat them throughout the day.
7. Learn to tolerate uncertainty. This can be achieved by turning to your spiritual and symbolic beliefs. You will expand your possibilities as you let your spiritual beliefs guide you and strengthen your faith sustained through this hurtful loss. Know what you can and cannot control. You can control how you handle important changes. You cannot control what others say and do or what has already happened.
8. Allow the opportunity to educate you out of depression. This is where your imagination can help in a very positive way. Are you open to the many ways to deal with loss? Learn about them from others, support groups, readings and experts. By creating options for dealing with fear, anger, guilt, and negative thoughts, you can change your perspective on what lies ahead.
9. Check your eating habits and whether you are deficient in amino acids. Consuming protein at all three meals can affect neurotransmitters and your energy levels. Reduce consumption of carbohydrates (not complex carbohydrates), sugar, alcohol and fast food and increase fruits and vegetables. The way you feel physically will contribute to or detract from depression.
If you feel depression creeping back in, immediately ask yourself the key question: “What are my choices here?” When you bury your feelings and don't face them, depression is a common result.
Refuse to withdraw from life; Make connections and express your feelings to a support group or your best friend. If your depressive symptoms persist for more than a few months, be sure to consult a professional counselor. You can move through this darkness into the light by taking early action (don't wait for it to worsen) to deal with this pervasive emotion.
Inspired by Lou LaGrand