Counseling for depression and anxiety

Counseling for depression and anxiety

Some depression and anxiety can be resolved by incorporating caring self-talk and supporting self-esteem and assertiveness. We tend to do to ourselves and others what was done to us in childhood. Now, as adults, we need to give ourselves all the healthy things we needed from healthy parents. Here are some things to do to change the foundation of depression and anxiety:

Step 1. Write down the negative things you think about yourself, others, and your circumstances.This activity will increase your awareness of the negative thinking and self-talk that is common to many types of depression and anxiety. The negative and self-critical self-talk demoralizes the ego and manifests itself as depressed, blue, sad, anxious, fearful and self-doubting. This low mood and anxiety then affects sleeping, eating, and low energy. Common examples of negative self-talk include: I'm incapable, I can't do it, I'm unlovable, I'm a failure, I failed again, I can't do it, no one wants to talk to me, no one cares about me, etc.

Step 2. Write statements that nurture, nurture, soothe, support and validate yourself.This exercise helps identify the opposites of negative self-talk: I can do it, I have many skills, I am caring and kind, I can get what I need and want, I deserve to be happy, I can succeed, etc.

Step 3. Write down negative things parents said or shared with you when you were growing up.Here you can write down what your parents felt about you by saying or doing, such as: I wish you were never born, I don't like you, I don't care about you, I don't want to be around you, you're in the way, you're a trouble, you should be seen but not heard, etc.

Step 4. Write down the things you needed or wanted from your parents as a child.Here you can write the things parents should say or do, such as: I love you no matter what, I'm so glad you're in my life. You can succeed. It's okay to cry when you're hurt. Everything will be okay, I felt the same way as you sometimes. You can do anything. You're good at it. Thanks for helping me. You are so kind and caring.

Step 5. Write down what you would do or say if you saw another child being treated the way you were treated in #3.What would you say if you heard someone saying mean things to a child or hitting a child? Maybe you would say things like: You have no right to say this: Be nice to the child. The child needs your love. You need to support your child and be reassuring and caring and loving and affectionate. You have to be encouraging.

Step 6. If you had all the positive things you needed from healthy parents as a child, how can you imagine your life being different today?If your parents had said encouraging, caring and supportive things to you as a child, how would you imagine your life to be different today? This step will help you articulate and create a vision for how your life can be different in a healthy way. Depression caused by negative self-talk is a form of self-abandonment and self-abuse. The ultimate self-abuse and self-abandonment is self-harm and suicidal ideation. Conversely, hope, optimism, self-esteem and self-confidence form the basis for a stable mood and a feeling of security, trust, well-being, inner peace, personal power and happiness.

Step 7. Now you need to be to yourself all the things your parents need to be to you: encouraging, nurturing, loving, caring, supportive and reassuring.This means that you have to tell yourself and be for yourself all the positive things that you need from healthy parents. When no one else can give you the care you need, who leaves? Ultimately, you are the one who has to take care of yourself. So that means you have to choose healthy people to be in your life and you have to support yourself and that other caring person. This way you take care of yourself. Another important piece is to stand up for yourself and support yourself when you are treated badly by others.

Step 8. You must be assertiveand say things like: I don't like your tone, I deserve more respect than that, I deserve a raise, I get annoyed when... etc. Take care of the little boy or girl who has been abused and mistreated. That little boy or girl is still inside you and needs your protection. Be to yourself now what you needed then. Will you stand up for him or her?

Inspired by Daniel Keeran