How to help a loved one who is depressed

How to help a loved one who is depressed

If you talk to different professionals in medicine, research, anthropology, biochemistry, and psychology, you will get different answers about what causes depression. Even the “chemical imbalance” theory is suspect, although it is the most common, as research now shows that brain chemistry can be influenced by changing thinking, behavior and self-awareness. which makes it a “what comes first” question.

It's very common for people to say they're "depressed" when they're overwhelmed or upset, but true clinical depression is a different condition. It occurs in cycles, often seasonally, and has specific triggers. Some depression, such as postpartum depression, is partly situational (caused by feeling overwhelmed by parenting responsibilities, loss of sleep, etc.) and hormonal (resulting from hormonal changes). Estimates of how common depression occurs vary widely, and the definition of which people are considered depressed also varies widely.

Any situation in which expectations are unrealistic can be seen as “setting up” for disappointment, which some people perceive as depression. If the underlying thought is that “I don't deserve happiness,” then the general difficulty of starting a new relationship after marriage is viewed as a disaster, and depression may result.

Most couples experience some sort of disappointment and fear that their relationship won't work out. Whether they respond to this disappointment by falling into depression depends on the individual.

Men are more likely to respond to difficult life experiences by becoming depressed because they feel less comfortable expressing their feelings, so their disappointment and pain is condensed into a hopeless, depressive feeling. Men are also more prone to depression and other mood disorders, in part because they are trying to maintain or use the support of family and friends.

Women are more likely to have a hormonal component to their depression, which may cycle with the menstrual cycle. Women express their feelings more, have family and friends to talk to, and often prevent depression.

In my experience, the tendency toward depression is largely due to a learned behavior and belief system focused on hopelessness. In my office, depressed people often express hopelessness and a feeling that they cannot be responsible for their own lives. When this belief system changes, depression no longer exists. Depression also has a cyclical nature that could be due to genetics, but no one knows for sure. Situational depression occurs when people are deeply hurt, disappointed, or have experienced a great loss or tragic situation. This type of depression is gradually worked through and can be overcome. Symptoms of depression include no energy, possibly not getting out of bed, withdrawal, avoidance of intimacy, lack of communication, and feeling hopeless and helpless to solve life problems. But may people continue to work hard and still live a colorless life with empty feelings.

Studies show that depression responds best to a combination of antidepressants and cognitive/behavioral therapy. If depression is severe, inpatient treatment in a facility that provides behavioral conditioning is most effective. If you think someone you love is depressed, don't try to diagnose them. You can point out any behavior you notice and say, "I see that you cry a lot (or sleep too much, or hide, or don't want to talk), and I think that indicates a problem. Please consult with me." ? " When a loved one goes to counseling with you, the therapist can diagnose the depression and make recommendations without making him or her feel criticized, as he or she would if you said it was depression. Counseling also helps you handle situations more effectively and not cause more drama and dysfunction in the relationship.

Americans tend to look for a quick fix. It seems easier to take a pill than to solve the problem. But the side effects of antidepressants are no joke. Research shows that the most effective treatment for depression is cognitive behavioral therapy combined with mild antidepressants. The medication doesn't fix the depression; They lift your mood so that emotional problems can be solved more easily.

Depression affects both emotionally and physically not only the affected person, but also their spouse and family. Here are a few of many steps you can take to help your loved one survive and thrive.

How to Help a Loved One With Depression:

1. Understand the diagnosis and what it means. Go to appointments with your loved one so you can understand what the doctor is saying. A depressed person may not fully understand what the doctor is saying. Search online for special interest groups focused on the disease, such as: B. from Mental Health America (MHA) or the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA), which are aimed at the needs of people with depression. While depression support groups are not psychotherapy groups, they can provide you with a safe and accepting place to release your frustrations and fears and receive comfort and encouragement from others. You will learn a lot from those who already have experience.

2. Help your loved one do what the Dr. says, but don't take responsibility. Treating depression is a big adjustment. Help your loved one take medication. Hold Dr. Appointments and do any exercise, home medical procedures or other self-care processes. However, make sure these things are still your loved one's responsibility. Both of you will feel better if you are supportive rather than parental.

3. Take very good care of yourself. Taking care of a depressed spouse is stressful, so you also need to take extra care of yourself. Enlist the help of health insurance, family and friends. Make sure there are other people available to give you a break, and don't feel bad if you go off alone from time to time - you need it.

4. Keep your connection, friendship or romance alive. Find as many ways as possible to let each other know that you care about each other. However, you may need to adjust your social and intimate life. Do everything you can to keep your connection alive within the confines of the disease. Have fun as you can, every chance you get. Make it a challenge to find new ways to have fun and relax and laugh together.

My latest book, How to Be Happy Partners: Working Together shows how to have successful conversations with your partner about difficult topics and how to work together to help each other through emotional problems.

Inspired by Tina Tessina