A cause that can make an autistic child obsessed with death

A cause that can make an autistic child obsessed with death

Some autistic children are obsessed with death. They persistently ask questions about death, the experience of death, terminal illness and suicide. This situation is quite alarming for parents because they believe that the impact of these types of questions can be frightening.

Parents, especially mothers, become powerless in the face of their autistic child's obsession with death and relentless questions. They make several maneuvers to get their child to stop by ignoring them, scolding them, and trying to distract their thoughts. But these movements bring no change. In fact, these movements provoke the child even more and bring anxiety and stress to his mood.

The questions now are, why does an autistic child ask such questions? Why is he so obsessed with death? And what should parents do in this situation?

Well, there are many causes that can make your child obsessed with death. For example, nightmares, bullying, lack of self-esteem, flood of new information and unpredictability. But the most important cause is “change”.

Fear of change

Children who ask death questions or are obsessed with death are usually “afraid of change.” The idea of ​​“change” brings panic into their bodies. They “think” and “ask” questions like: Who will replace grandma when she dies?

"When an autistic child feels that the order and consistency of his world is being disrupted, he feels anxious. He is unable to deal with the impending situation and curb the unity in his world. He often repeats death questions in order to relax his anxious and stressful feelings."

If your child asks you questions about death, it often means that he or she is afraid of change. He wants to know what consequences can occur after death.

What do most parents do when their autistic child asks them death questions?

Well, they talk about a few things over and over again. For example,

(a) Death is natural.

(b) Life is beautiful.

(c) Heaven and Hell.

However, these topics are not the exact answers for your child. These types of answers would be absolutely useless. Your child will become even more anxious and ask the same questions over and over again until you don't give him a satisfactory answer or ease his feelings.

To give your child satisfactory answers and understand the causes of his obsession, you must first look at your own family, your family's conversations, and your family environment. Was there a change in your family after the death of a loved one? Were there intensive discussions about death and its consequences?

Aside from that, to identify the true source of his anxiety, pay close attention to his daily activities. Is there a film that he/she watches over and over again? Is there a death scene in his favorite film? Did he see any terrible changes or consequences after someone died?

Once you understand the true source of his fear, you can easily handle the situation. You see the world through his perspective and speak in his language. Your answers gradually dilute his anxious feelings and make him feel that you are the best mother/father in the world who understands him completely.

You become his best friend and your child starts to love you even more.

What should he do now that he has discovered the real source of his obsession with death?

Now, reassure him: “Nothing will change, everything will stay the same.” This should be the focus of your entire conversation. Tell him that there will be no terrible changes when someone dies. The environment will remain the same, the predictability will remain alive and the world will move on with the same routine.

The more you keep his world predictable and the same to him through your answers, the more you dilute his obsessive feelings about death and the more you connect with him on an emotional level.

Inspired by Isaac E. Smith