What you should consider before deciding on relationship therapy

What you should consider before deciding on relationship therapy

Hundreds of couples worldwide are considering relationship therapy instead of divorce. This type of counseling is a change to repair a broken unity that hopefully leads to a shared future, rather than tearing up the foundations of their knowledge and separating them forever.

Many couples choose this to try to save a marriage for the sake of their children, but before you even consider relationship therapy; there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.

Firstly, it is important to remember that this is not a quick fix, it takes time, dedication and it may not prove useful if both of you cannot find a compromise. This is something you both want to do, an opportunity to repair, heal and work together to stay together for years to come.

One of the things you need to consider is whether you are willing to take responsibility for your side of the partnership. Are you ready to face what your partner has to say about why the relationship is falling apart? This can be hard to hear, especially if you've never heard it before and need to be prepared for just about anything when you walk through that relationship therapy door.

Another consideration is whether you are both willing to invest the commitment and time needed for this form of counseling. As mentioned, this is not a quick fix and you will need to attend sessions regularly over a period of time. Some couples can participate in relationship therapy for weeks, others for years. You have to decide if you are ready for it and can make time for it.

Are you willing to compromise? Understanding and compromise are important elements of any relationship. Being able to compromise on certain elements can help your partnership move forward. You have to be prepared for everything that comes your way during the consultation, compromises can definitely be one of them.

If you are very stuck in your habits and find it difficult to try new things, then relationship therapy may not be right for you. With this type of advice, you need to be open and willing to try out new things in terms of openness and partnership. Things have to change in order to evolve. This is essential for the future of your partnership for years to come.

It is important that you choose a therapist that you both feel comfortable with. These sessions rely on you being open and honest and if you feel uncomfortable you may find that you are unable to open up and work on your issues.

Most consultants offer an assessment appointment. This is your opportunity to get a feel for them, how they work and what techniques they use. Be sure to ask questions at this stage. Some counselors will challenge you as a couple, while others may be understanding and let you come to terms with what is happening in your relationship.

Before you go to relationship therapy, decide what you want from the sessions. Are you looking for a change in your relationship to take it to the next level and stay together, are you looking to mend broken fences that have built up over the years, or are you looking for a way to communicate your feelings? Can you continue your partnership openly and with commitment?

It's important that you both have an indication of what you want to achieve. Most couples want to know if there is anything left to fix or if it is time to separate. Remember that a counselor will not tell you what to do, but they will help you make your own decision.

Inspired by Tony Novissimo