Sexuality and Autism, Part 2

Sexuality and Autism, Part 2

In Part 1 we examined the fact that people with autism are not different from others, but also have sexual experiences. This article takes a closer look at what may be part of autistic individuals' introduction to puberty.

Author Geri Newton explains in her article "Social/Sexual Awareness": "Many of my clients have told me that having sex with someone is the only time they feel normal...when they are sexual with someone, they are just like everyone else - adults." She says she has heard the same message from people with identified IQs of 30 to 70, verbally and non-verbally. This is something we as a society should take time to explore further. Why? In my opinion, it is sad to realize that so many of our “brothers and sisters” can only feel normal when they are involved in a sexual encounter. And how much time do they spend on these sexual experiences? Most likely not too much time. This means that these people are likely to feel different, even out of place, during other hours of the week.

If you are the parent of a son or daughter and are reaching puberty, you are most likely having concerns, perhaps even fear, about how to handle this new chapter in your autistic child's life. During this period, you must first prepare your child for puberty and the body changes its face. For girls, parents should be ready to help their child during this exciting time. This gives parents the opportunity to regularly review areas such as social expectations. This includes manners, positive sexual behavior, socially accepted rules and boundaries. These discussions should be had both at home and in public. This is the perfect time to discuss manners and behavior at a restaurant, for example.

Parents of an autistic girl entering puberty may find that it is easier to use skill-appropriate level books with pictures to explain and show as you go. She needs to understand her different body parts and their functions. She will most likely be happy to hear that she will soon develop breasts. However, she may not be so excited about menstruation and the procedures to be followed when the period begins. If your daughter carries a small handbag, be sure to pack sanitary pads and a pair of clean underwear. Remind her often of the changes she will soon face.

Hopefully you worked together as a team, your teacher, your daughter and yourself. It is imperative that the team regularly checks what is happening at the start of the period and goes through each step of using the sanitary napkin. She also needs to understand that her pad needs to be changed regularly and she may also need to clean herself. If you follow each of these steps, you will prepare them for the “event.” You should also teach her how to properly dispose of her used pad. If a young girl is unprepared, it can be terrifying for her to sit in a classroom and suddenly feel something running down her leg. When she then realizes that it is blood, it can lead to a very traumatic experience. As you explain the entire process, you should have a few sanitary pads (the kind she will use so she is familiar with them) to show her the correct way to use them. If you have a large doll or other object, show her the steps to attach the pad. Then have them do the same. You should review this process until she feels comfortable and can apply the pad properly.

In Part 3 we will talk about sexuality - your son and your puberty.

Inspired by Jack E George