Techniques that can be used to help a person with autism deal with their anger and rage

Techniques that can be used to help a person with autism deal with their anger and rage

In a previous article I discussed why the autistic person struggles so much with anger and anger. In this article I will discuss how parents/caregivers or therapists can work with the person with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) who is angry.

It's important to remember that the child, teen, or adult is angry for a good reason. Because the person with ASD has not benefited from attachment, their feelings become dissociated. This means that his feelings are separate from his intellect. Over time, his emotions become constipated and he subsequently appears angry. So we can say that his anger is due to his inability to access his feelings easily. This may be his general state of being. As mentioned earlier, people manifest their anger in different ways – passive, passive-aggressive, explosive/competitive, and assertive. It's rare for a person with ASD to know how to express anger confidently, because that would mean he has what I call a "sense of empowerment." This means he can use and express his feelings with others. His ability to express emotions depends on his level of functioning. The higher the level of functioning, the more the person with ASD is able to access and express feelings.

What can we do to help the person with ASD deal with their angry feelings? The following are suggestions for working with an autistic person who displays anger: 1) A key skill is listening to the anger. Listening to another's anger helps the person feel "contained" and "held" without literally holding and containing it. It's hard to listen to others when their anger is directed at us, but it's important to listen at this time. It makes the autistic person feel seen, acknowledged and considered. 2) Reflect back to the person what you think their anger is about. For autistic people it can be about something specific and at other times it can be about feeling restricted. It's up to you to decipher what you think he's angry about. Use your own instincts to assess what the anger is about, and the person with ASD will let you know whether they feel heard or not. 3) How can we tell if we have identified the anger? The person with ASD (even the nonverbal child) will calm down, change his mood, nod his head, or give you a nonverbal gesture that he feels heard. Every person with ASD is different, so their nonverbal cues to feel understood vary. 4) Tell the person with ASD in a few sentences what you think the problem is and 5) provide solutions to specific problems. Sometimes a person with autism just needs to know that you are listening and understanding their predicament.

For people with ASD who are high functioning/Asperger's, you may also want to: 1) help him examine his triggers (which happened just before his temper outburst), 2) let him own his own feelings by encouraging him to use what are called "I" messages as opposed to "you" or "thou" messages, and 3) give him coping mechanisms such as - asking for a time out when he is frustrated, encouraging him to talk to someone talk before he is triggered and teach him how to listen and reflect the feelings of others.

These methods are important techniques for helping a person with ASD manage their anger. As we know, expressing angry emotions is important for the psychological well-being of all people, including those with autism. Because someone has autism doesn't mean they can't learn to manage and manage angry feelings better.

Inspired by Karen Savlov