Bridging the tensions of depression and trauma

Bridging the tensions of depression and trauma

When the depression was at its worst, I found myself immobile, far beyond my ability to receive the care of well-meaning people. Your care was still important. I still needed it. And I would inevitably take some respite in a place where her empathy really helped.

I have therefore found that depression is a fluid state in which some days forward movement is possible while other days are futile. And that's the besteveryone(those who help and are helped) accepts this reality, which cannot be changed for people with depression. Just as it is best that everyone understands that some days forward movement and empowerment are not only possible but necessary. The hard part is recognizing which day is which.

Perhaps this is why the wisdom in the Serenity Prayer is so commanding:

God, help me to accept the days when I can't change. Help me to be courageous on the days I can move and improve. And give me wisdom to know the difference between these days.

Can you see the tensions in the precision above?

With depression there is forward and backward movement. Some days there is hope. Other days, pure desperation. No type of tag can be changed. It's best accepted, not that care doesn't help. As an adult, sometimes it's good to be alone and figure out how to make it through, but there are limits to that thinking. We need interaction to break us past the pit of thinking we can transform into.

Balancing tensions is about appreciating the global dynamics evident in depression.

Like most things in life, a lie consists of claiming that a single global truth is at play in a complex intrapersonal or interpersonal dynamic. There are always more aspects to your truth than that. This can be difficult for you to understand and accept, let alone for someone else.

For example, a victim of abuse, a traumatized subject, must be given unequivocal empathy - they must be believed, and it is incredibly important for their future hope and prosperity to do so. But it cannot be left there. Not all healing is contained in empathy, although it is a powerful start. The victim, and now we call him the survivor (of trauma), must have more than your faith and tacit encouragement. They also need to be gently challenged on their journey to recovery – pointing to and believing in restoration – and sometimes this feels difficult.

There is danger for every survivor of trauma. They can start and continue to be sucked into the victim's vertebra. We have to watch our language. Don't curse. But how do we dwell on disempowering statements about ourselves that sound like we are still the victim? We have to work on a goal that goes beyond this.

If we keep saying, "[They or the situation] did this to me!" or "[They or the situation] won't change!" “or” How dare I [they or the situation]! "Especially when we are still angry, we cannot fully recover. Don't get me wrong. The anger and disbelief are justified. But vindication comes when we stop feeling like a victim and use our agency (which means action or intervention that creates a particular [empowering] effect). Personal power is required to fully recover, and we must find a way to use and access it.

But agency cannot come until empathy is received and remains. However, if we leave it with empathy, agency may never be fully realized. We need both.

As you suffer, can you hold the tension in these seemingly contradictory truths:

You are believed; it happened, it was terrible and it is terrible. But you can also be more than what you have experienced.

Balancing the tensions is not one being better than the other or one being right and one being wrong. Balancing the tensions of mental health recovery is about receiving empathy that affirms what was and what is, and a challenge that pushes us to determine what can be.

Those affected MUST be believed, AND those affected MUST believe that they can recover.

***This article assumes that you are outside of your toxic situation when it comes to abuse victims. Recovery cannot take place in a situation that retraumatizes us.

Inspired by Steve Wickham