How to Beat Depression When You're Alone

How to Beat Depression When You're Alone

When you think of being alone, do you imagine a calm serenity or the panic of being stranded on a dark and remote road? If you're trying to overcome depression when you're alone, the way you experience depression is different if you believe you can draw strength from loneliness or if you feel anxious, abandoned, and lost.

Loneliness versus loneliness.

Many years ago, Georges Moustaki sang beautiful lyrics that can be translated as “No, I am never alone… with my loneliness.” Most introverts know this feeling well. And even sociable people can crave solitude when they feel overwhelmed by the weight of other people's demands. When you're on the verge of collapse, even depression can be tempting... like a wonderful escape into nowhere where the world is forced to leave you alone.

We all need some quiet time. Time to think, meditate, or put green mud on our faces with some privacy. Learning how to ask for solitude is not always easy, but it is a skill we must develop to recharge our inner resources. Building regular moments of peaceful solitude amid the stresses of life can protect you from a full-scale jump over the cliff into the void of depression.

Unlike loneliness, loneliness hurts. The loss of a spouse or parent, or the end of a significant relationship in which we felt part of a team, can come as a sudden shock or grow from a long goodbye. Even changing jobs to a different part of the country can leave us cut off from our support network and emotional resources, leaving us feeling adrift, scared and even unloved. Depression attaches itself like a magnet to sadness and loneliness. We feel like nothing matters because we don't seem to matter to anyone anymore.

Learn the joy of solitude to alleviate the fear of loneliness.

Even in the midst of depression, loneliness can bring us comfort if we let it. Being alone gives us full license to be good to ourselves, without others we have to please. When our psyche needs a few days in bed, it can be just the relief we need to get back on our feet.

Meditation, music, laughter, exercise and good food are all things we can do alone, just for ourselves. We can watch crazy movies or lose ourselves in a monster-sized novel and sniff and sob to our hearts' content. To paraphrase author Chris Cade: A good book is worth more than a multitude of bad companions.

Give thanks for real friends and family who have blessed your life in the past. Even though they are no longer with you, the time you spent together was a gift you can still cherish. And if you have had wonderful people who took care of you before, know that other people will come back into your life.

Group support or therapy can also go a long way if you need to talk about the loss of a loved one or feelings of abandonment. Check your local newspaper for meeting times in your area.

Avoid isolation by giving yourself.

While a little solitude is good for you, the time comes to return to the world. When we battle depression alone for too long, we can isolate ourselves from the people who could help keep us safe. We can tell ourselves that we have nothing to contribute or that we will not be missed.

Don't believe what your depression tells you. There are many people who could use your help, and helping others is a very effective therapy for helping yourself. Volunteer organizations always need extra hands to serve meals, build homes, care for abandoned animals, or a variety of other causes. You may feel refreshed when you do good, and the people you volunteer with may become a new source of friendship and caring.

If you value yourself when you are alone, you will have more courage to step out and interact with others. Before long, more people will share your life, your sense of purpose will be renewed, and you will be able to overcome depression whether you are alone or not.

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Inspired by Janet Wolfe