People who suffer from stress are more likely to notice their spouse's negative behavior

People who suffer from stress are more likely to notice their spouse's negative behavior

Stressful life circumstances can influence how married couples interact, but can they also influence how partners view each other? According to a new study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, a person experiencing stress is more likely to perceive their spouse's negative behavior as positive.

Previous research has focused on how stress influences behavior, but this study suggests that stress could influence which actions partners even notice. Negative actions monitored included a spouse breaking a promise, showing anger or impatience, or criticizing their partner.

We found that people who reported experiencing more stressful life events outside of their relationship, such as problems at work, were particularly likely to notice when their partner was behaving recklessly."

Dr. Lisa Neff, lead author, University of Texas at Austin

Researchers asked 79 heterosexual newlywed couples to complete a short survey every night for 10 days, documenting both their own behavior and that of their partner. Before beginning this part of the study, participants completed a questionnaire in which they shared details of stressful events in their lives.

The study of newlyweds illustrates the importance of the results, says Dr. Neff notes that couples are particularly likely to focus on each other's positive behavior and overlook negative actions during the "honeymoon" period.

“The past few years have been difficult for many people – and the stress of the pandemic continues,” says Dr. Neff. “If stress focuses an individual’s attention on their partner’s more reckless behavior, it is likely to take a toll on the relationship.”

The researchers found that a single stressful day wasn't enough to get someone to focus on their partner's negative behavior, but a prolonged accumulation of stressful life circumstances could cause this shift in focus. The results also suggest that those under stress are no less likely to notice their partner's positive behavior, but more likely to notice reckless actions.

While it is possible that awareness of the effects of stress allows couples to correct their behavior and limit the damage to the relationship, Dr. Neff notes that this will remain speculation until further investigation. She also says future research would do well to extend this study beyond the honeymoon phase.

“One direction would be to examine whether the deleterious effects of stress may be even greater in couples who are no longer in the newlywed phase of their relationship,” says Dr. Neff, "but the fact that we found these effects in a sample of newlyweds speaks to how powerful the effects of stress can be."

Source:

Society for Personality and Social Psychology

Reference:

Neff, LA, et al. (2022) When rose-colored glasses become cloudy: Stressful living conditions and perceptions of partner behavior in newlyweds. Social psychology and personality science. doi.org/10.1177/19485506221125411.

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