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Training parents: 5 important parenting skills for a healthy psyche
Learn how parents can appropriately handle their children's temper tantrums to protect their mental health. Article by Pia Seitler in the Soester Anzeiger, published on July 11, 2024.
Training parents: 5 important parenting skills for a healthy psyche
How parents can protect their children's emotional health
The way parents respond to their children's emotions can have a significant impact on their mental health. Psychologists have found that up to 20 percent of children and young people in Germany are confronted with mental disorders, with the family environment and parental behavior playing a decisive role.
Why emotional regulation matters for children
It is important to recognize that children tend to express their emotions and show negative feelings such as anger and anger. However, when parents respond negatively by withdrawing love or punishing, it can cause the child to learn to suppress their emotions. These repressed emotions can later manifest in depression and negative core beliefs such as “I am too much” or “I am bad.”
The role of mentalizing, validating and repairing
Experts advise parents to teach their children that it's okay to have their feelings. This can be achieved through a process called “mentalizing,” in which parents learn to empathize with their child’s thoughts and feelings. It is also important to validate the child's needs and feelings without relativizing them with a subsequent "but". When conflict arises, it is crucial to repair the relationship by actively apologizing and taking initiative.
The importance of motivating and setting boundaries
Other important skills that parents should develop include motivating and setting boundaries. Through motivation, parents can help their children reflect between their behavior and their values without getting into power struggles. Setting boundaries should be done without personal criticism and supported by clear body language. It is also important to note that boundaries can be changed if the child makes good arguments.
By developing these five skills—mentalizing, validating, repairing, motivating, and setting boundaries—and applying them to their parenting, parents can help protect their children's emotional health and well-being.